Wednesday, February 29
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances… –1 Thessalonians 5:16-18a
Hi, I am Bette Norton and I have a chronic illness called Spasmodic Torticollis or a more common name, Cervical Dystonia. This is a chronic neurological movement disorder. “This disorder is described by sustained muscle contractions causing repetitive and twisting movements, and abnormal postures in a single body region.” I have had this disorder for the past 17 years. The symptoms have worsened in the last few years. This disorder has taken over my life, forcing an early retirement, making me give up physical activities that I once enjoyed and adding the burden of living with chronic pain.
It is easy to fall prey to a chronic illness and have it consume your whole identity. I have a choice in how I want to live out the rest of my life. I can wake up each morning with the stark realization of all of my limitations, or I can wake up each morning full of gratitude for what I do have. I begin each morning thankful that I can get out of bed and thankful for the precious gift of my life. Gratitude cultivates joy and I am thankful for the many blessings in my life. I try to focus on what I can do each day, not what I cannot do, and then embrace it to the fullest. The key is to find joy in everything that you do and be thankful for that joy. The mind body connection is very powerful and if I am continually feeding positive happy thoughts to my body, I will begin to heal and restore to the person I once was before the illness.
My illness does not define me. There is a lot more to me than having this disorder. I work very hard each day to fight the anxiety and depression that creeps in every once in awhile from having a chronic illness. I surround myself with activities and people that are healthy and good for my well being. I participate in yoga and meditation and qi gong to the best of my physical abilities and try to maintain my life with a state of mindfulness. I live a rich full life in spite of my Dystonia. There can be a silver lining to having a chronic illness; you tend to reach out to God with more intensity and can find yourself being on a wonderful spiritual journey, which you otherwise might not have taken the time to embrace.
I sometimes feel physical or mental challenges are in our lives for a reason. If everything went flawlessly without obstacles in our way, would we appreciate what we have as much? In my Dystonia newsletter, I was reading about this man who had been diagnosed 20 years ago with Dystonia. He commented that the last 20 years had been the worst in his life and also the best in his life. He was leading a life full of alcohol and drugs and despair, and he was in and out of rehab centers. When he had had enough of this, in desperation he reached out to God. He now lives a wonderful life, full of healing and faith in spite of his Dystonia. It did not happen overnight, and it took a lot of hard work to get there. He shares his story with other people suffering from Dystonia and other chronic illnesses. He has found a purpose to his life. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes it can be a struggle to find that light. Often enough though, the journey of trying to find it can be the most rewarding time of your life. His life may not have gone down this path if he had never had Dystonia.
I may have Cervical Dystonia, but Cervical Dystonia does not have me.
–Bette Norton
God, it is so easy for us to define ourselves by our limitations. Help us, instead, to claim the definition you give us: beloved child of God. Amen.