Wednesday, February 25
“Beloved, let us love one another, because love comes from God.” –1 John 4:7
I remember well a conversation I had a few years back, right there in our church kitchen. One of our good friends had recently gone through a most difficult situation. I wished I could help, but felt I lacked the skills to satisfactorily counsel him. Instinctively, I began to ask questions, my usual technique of choice in any conversation (“Why,” I ask myself daily, “would anyone want to learn more about me? I’d rather find out more about them!”).
His particular hardship was foreign to my own experience, and I tend to stray from the conversational crutch that is summarized something like this: “Well, that’s interesting, but it’s exactly what I went through at one point, and this is what I did, and I survived, so get over it.” (Well, actually, I’ve never heard anyone say something that callous in one’s time of need, but that’s all that I hear when someone tries to commandeer the situation and turn attention toward themselves.) So, I stood there, over a cheese and cracker, powerless to help, and had a listen.
At one point, he’d had enough. I admire his bravery in telling me there that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. And I was proud of my quick thinking response, something to the effect of “I respect that, and won’t bring it up again, but that won’t stop me from thinking about you.” And in that moment, I could tell that was what his soul needed to hear. I didn’t bring it up again, and don’t know its resolution for him.
But that man knows that I love him and sometimes, I’ve found, that’s the best that we can offer.
God, teach us the sacred art of listening. Amen.
–Rick Seaholm