Sunday, March 1
“From there he set out and went away to the region of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know he was there. Yet he could not escape notice, but a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit immediately heard about him, and she came and bowed down at his feet. Now the woman was a Gentile, of Syrophoenician origin. She begged him to cast the demon out of her daughter. He said to her, “Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” But she answered him, “Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.” Then he said to her, “For saying that, you may go—the demon has left your daughter.” So she went home, found the child lying on the bed, and the demon gone.” [Mark 7:24-30]
I admire the courage of the Syrophoenician women. She hears about Jesus and goes to ask him for help. She ignores all of the dominant culture’s social rules. She goes on her own and talks to a man. She crosses cultural, religious, “national,” and socio-economic boundaries in order to talk to Jesus. Then when Jesus says “I won’t help you,” she challenges Jesus. She does not take no for an answer. She pulls out her own social parable to counter Jesus’ argument and she wins! Jesus changes his mind and heals her daughter.
I also admire the brilliance of the Syrophonencian women. Not only does she possess courage, she demonstrates expert negotiation skills. When Jesus says no, the Syrophonencian Women does not continue begging for help. She responds in a way that demonstrates deep listening. She uses Jesus’ language. She answers his parable with a parable. She acknowledges his interest and position. She does not challenge Jesus’ depiction of her as a dog; she does not deny the children’s right too food; she presents Jesus with another way of viewing the situation. She reinterprets the parable in a way that removes competition. The dogs are no longer competing with the children for food. There is enough for all. The Syrophonencian woman found a win-win solution.
God, help us listen to others. When we find ourselves in conflict, help us listen to everyone’s interests so that we can find win-win solutions. Amen.
–Kate Byers