“The wise of heart is called perceptive, and pleasant speech increases persuasiveness. Wisdom is a fountain of life to one who has it, but folly is the punishment of fools. The mind of the wise makes their speech judicious, and adds persuasiveness to their lips. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” [Proverbs 16:21-24}
Manyyears ago, I was going through a very difficult time. I was struggling at work, my mom was battling cancer, and I was dealing with a very contentious divorce. It was one of those times when you know there is no way around the challenges and heartache. You just have to go through it all and come out the other end no matter how difficult that may be.
During this time a co-worker, Jane, reached out to me. She was the wisest woman I have ever met and completely lived life on her own terms. When I met Jane she was still working full time in the science library and none of our friends knew how old she was. She must have been in her late 70s at that time. Jane walked or rode her bicycle everywhere. She volunteered at the organic farm outside of town- an old hippie commune. During the summer, Jane made a practice of swimming in the local river on her lunch hour doing laps back and forth across the river. Jane loved to talk to people and took a keen interest in them and what they had to say. She was always asking questions because she was truly interested in you.
A friendship began and I don’t remember any specific conversations- there were so many- but I do remember Jane’s patience, caring, and understanding. She was always ready and willing to listen to my concerns and complaints. Throughout my four year divorce, Jane listened and encouraged me to believe that life would get better. She seemed to always know when to give me advice and when to just let me vent my frustrations without ever being critical of me. Jane is gone now but I will always cherish our friendship.
At a time in my life when I most needed it, Jane gave me the gift of listening. Listening is an invaluable sacred gift. It is the foundation for sacred conversation and a skill that must be honed with years of practice. I am deeply grateful for Jane. I will always remember our walks and our conversations over tea.
Just and loving God, you are always listening and guiding; grant me wisdom and patience so that I may listen to others with kindness and understanding. Open me to your presence and wisdom in this world so that I can make life giving decisions. Amen.