Come to me all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
One of my favorite ways to illustrate the need for daily self-care, particularly to parents of children with challenging behaviors but definitely applies to all, is the airplane oxygen mask analogy. It simply states that if we are flying with a young child on our lap and the plane loses oxygen, when the masks drop down to provide us with oxygen necessary to breathe, our first instinct is to place the mask on the child before ourselves. The truth is that if we follow our instinct, we will quickly lose consciousness and be unable to help the small child- we must first take care of ourselves.
As a helping professional, it is very easy to put the needs of others with whom I am working ahead of my own; working later, answering weekend calls, attending meetings on my day off, etc. Making space for my own self-care is something that has been an ongoing challenge and it often isn’t the physical demands that I struggle to keep balanced. Working with individuals with complex trauma can create what is called vicarious trauma- meaning that providing empathic engagement with someone who is sharing their own stories of abuse, neglect and violence can take a toll on the helping professional.
Making time and space for good supervision is an important aspect of taking care of my own needs. It is so important, that I have learned to recognize the signs when I need to take the time to attend to my own needs because, like the airplane analogy, I am unable to help anyone if I have not taken care of myself. Often I will allow myself the car ride home to think about those for whom I am concerned, then will ask God to help me know what to do next. A song we often sing in church before one of our prayers is one of my favorite to remind myself to turn it over to God-
“Shepherd lead. Lead me in your righteousness. Make thy way plain, before my face. For it is you God you God only, that helps me to lie down in safety.”