Just then a lawyer stood up to test Jesus. ‘Teacher,’ he said, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life?’ He said to him, ‘What is written in the law? What do you read there?’ He answered, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbour as yourself.’ And he said to him, ‘You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live.’ But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbour?’–Luke 10:26-29
I spent 43 years working full time in a preschool. It was a most rewarding career. I was doing something important and worthwhile, making the world a better place by caring for the next generation. However, I worked with a fairly homogeneous group of mostly young women. We all got along fine, worked together pretty well, and helped each other out when needed. We did what we had to do to accomplish our work effectively.
Meanwhile, I was working part time evenings and weekends at Roche Brothers. Such a different atmosphere! The whole age range – teenagers through 80s. People from all over the world. People with learning difficulties trying so hard to do their jobs. Professionals supplementing their family income, working a second job. A very successful, well-off, retired gentleman who, bored with retirement, against his family’s wishes, decided he wanted to be a Roche Brothers bagger. These were the people with whom I formed the strongest bonds. It’s been over a year since I’ve retired, but a trip to Roche Brothers is still a big social event for me. In nearly every aisle there is a former co-worker with a hug and a catch-up story.
I wonder why my experiences with my co-workers at my 2 jobs were so different. For one thing, I think, my managers at Roche Brothers made it very clear that how we treated people was of the utmost importance, and they were role model examples of that. Secondly, I think just the diversity of my co-workers in and of itself made us all more accepting and open to each other. No judgement, or if there was, it was good natured, and playful, and loving. I have dear friends from Roche Brothers who have been with me through life’s biggest transitions, and I have been there for them.
One of my favorite former co-workers is a young man, young enough to be my grandson. He’s gay. He has learning disabilities. When I tell people about my spending time with him, I say, “I know it seems like a strange relationship, but we really hit it off.” We’ve always been there for each other. We’ve found some common ground, things we both enjoy, but more than that, we really care about what is going on in each other’s lives. Another former co-worker is my daughter’s age, but for 27 years we have been there for all of each other’s life’s milestones. I shared the sorrow of another former co-worker, as his mother was dying in his homeland, and he could not go back to see her.
At the time I was working 60-70 hours a week. Many of my co-workers worked more hours than that, and didn’t complain. We lifted each other up. You can do it, I can do it. Since I have retired, these people have still been there for me – when my husband died, when I was sick, and now, as I form new relationships, they want to know everything, partly being nosy, of course, but mostly caring, and wanting to make sure I’m happy, and safe, and making good decisions. We’ve always been there for each other, and we still are, checking in with each other, and making sure each other is doing okay. Our cultures, backgrounds, experiences, and demographics are different, but our relationships are deep, because we really care about each other.
Open us, O God, to the gifts of surprising friendships. Amen.
–Mary Thompson